I Still Believe

Music is a way that I connect with God.  I have many favorite worship songs.  "I still believe" is one of them.  It's a song that I've always loved since hearing it for the first time back in 2008.  2008 was a tough year for me.  I had just experienced a tragic loss, something that no 23 year old should have to go through.  That was the year that I developed a true relationship with Christ.  I made a choice to stay rooted in Christ, because it's His strength I wanted to carry me through.  I remember listening to these lyrics, singing with all of my heart, making the choice to still believe in His faithfulness:    

"Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start
But it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
Even when I don't see, I still believe." 

A few years later, I was listening to this song with a friend in her kitchen.  I remember talking about how meaningful those lyrics were to me.  She told me that Jeremy Camp had written this song at the age of 23, right after his wife had died of cancer.  And it instantly brought me to tears.  The song had a whole new meaning for me.  Here was this man, who had just suffered the death of his wife, and he wrote this song in the midst of his grief.  To me, that was amazing.  

Everything we do in this life is through the choices that we make.  I believe the most important choice we could ever make is the decision whether or not to follow Jesus.  We can choose to let life circumstances bring us closer to Christ or choose to let it drift us farther from Him.  

Its going on 10 years since that tragic life event in 2008, and here I am again finding myself holding fast to the words in this song.  "I still believe in Your faithfulness... even when I don't see, I still believe."

At the age of 33, I choose Jesus all over again.  Walking in trust during life's bleakest moments takes faith.  It's not easy.  It takes making a choice.  I choose to believe in His truth, His Word, and His faithfulness.   

At the age of 33, I'm left wondering what type of blessings come from having an unwavering faith when everything else seems to be falling apart.  I'm not exactly sure what those blessings are, but I intend to find out.

Listen to this song here.  Maybe it will touch your heart the same way it did for me.